Since my last post about my weight, I put back on what I lost that week plus another 20ish lbs. Just before Christmas I saw a number that was about 5lbs shy of 300! That should have been my wake-up call, but it wasn’t. The first week of January I had an appointment with my nurse practitioner about some “female issues” as my cycles were more messed up then ever. She prescribed hormones to hopefully reset my cycles and blood work. A few weeks later I got a call from the office telling me that my doctor wanted to see me as my liver enzymes came back elevated. I was sure my issues were weight related. I was going to lose this weight, and hopefully reverse some of the damage I had done, at the very least prevent further damage. The first week I did great. The next not so well, and the one after that, I went right back to ignoring my scales and how much food I was stuffing in my face. I had days where I was ready, I joined the gym on one of those days, then didn’t go for about 6 weeks. My anxiety got the better of me, every time I thought about going, my stomach would be in knots.
On Valentines Day, I went in to talk to my doctor. He informed me that my liver enzymes were 3 times the normal level and I probably have Fatty Liver Disease. Also, my blood sugar was in the pre-diabetic range. Great, not only am I fat, I am killing myself. I thought my levels were probably off a bit, but not 3 times what they should be. I have an ultrasound in May on my liver to see what is going on, and will probably need one yearly, as well as blood work every 6 months. I came out of that appointment horrified. It was worse then I had imagined. After my appointment, I was determined for a couple of days. I think for the next month or so I was all over the place and going through the 5 stages of grief. I was very angry at myself for letting it get this bad, I bargained with myself a LOT, was depressed and spent a lot of time in denial.
Last Thursday I think I hit the acceptance stage (I hope). I finally went to the gym that night and got all the jitters out. The next morning, I got up, weighed myself, took measurements and pictures. I decided I was going to add more exercise to my life, put back on my fitbit, record everything I put in my mouth and stay under my calories. I also am taking an appetite suppressant I picked up at Lawton’s for the first bit to help get me back on track. A week in and the scale is moving downwards at a reasonable rate. I don’t expect this journey to be perfect and know I still have lots of ups and downs to go. I am aware this will be a huge struggle for the rest of my life, and at least for right now, I’m ok with it.
My March 24th weigh in was 288lbs.